I had spent years learning how to make myself smaller so that I would not disturb the delicate balance of their shared delusions. Apparently, my willingness to disappear had only convinced them that I was a servant who did not deserve a seat.
Maverick kept his foot planted firmly in the spot where my chair should have been as if he were guarding a fortress. He was waiting for me to try and pull the chair back so that he could kick it again for the amusement of the adults.
I noticed the small details of the room as the laughter began to die down into a series of satisfied sighs. I saw the smear of gravy on a silver spoon and the way the light from the chandelier created broken patterns on the tablecloth.
Nobody asked Maverick to apologize for his behavior or even suggested that he had crossed a line. Nobody reached out to help me move my chair back to its rightful place at the table.
“Let us all just settle down and enjoy this beautiful meal that Sienna has prepared for us,” my mother said while she smiled at her plate. She spoke as if my humiliation were merely a small hiccup in an otherwise perfect evening.
That was the moment when I felt something inside of me grow very cold and very still. It was not a feeling of rage but rather a profound sense of clarity that I had never experienced before.
I slowly set my wine glass down on the table without taking a single sip of the expensive vintage Sienna had bragged about earlier. I stood up and walked toward the entryway where my coat was hanging in the closet.
“Joanna, where are you going before we have even served the dessert?” Paige asked with a look of genuine confusion. Uncle Howard let out another laugh and remarked that I was probably going home to check my email.
I did not offer a response as I pulled my keys from my purse and opened the heavy front door. The cool night air hit my face and carried the scent of rain and damp pine needles from the woods behind the house.
I walked to my car and sat in the driver’s seat while I watched the warm glow of the dining room windows from the driveway. From the outside, the house looked like a postcard of a happy family gathering where everyone was loved and respected.