My brother-in-law Brett snorted into his drink and shook his head as if the child had said something incredibly clever. My mother covered her mouth with a linen napkin and looked down at her plate while her shoulders shook with silent amusement.

The laughter spread around the table like a contagion until it felt like the very walls of the house were mocking me. I did not look at the child who had insulted me but instead kept my eyes fixed on my sister.

Sienna met my gaze and gave me a tiny shrug that suggested I was being overly sensitive about a harmless joke. “Children say the most ridiculous things when they are tired, Joanna,” she whispered across the table.

The house always felt like a stage where everyone was required to play a specific role for the sake of appearances. It was a beautiful home in the suburbs of Cary, North Carolina, with white columns and perfectly manicured gardens that looked like they belonged in a magazine.

Inside, the air was always filled with the scent of expensive lavender candles and the faint smell of lemon oil used on the furniture. Every room was decorated with a careful clutter of art books and antique vases that were meant to signal a life of effortless wealth.

Sienna loved to tell people that these Sunday dinners were the glue that held our family together through thick and thin. What she actually meant was that these gatherings provided her with an audience to admire her perfect life.

At these dinners, Justin played the role of the overworked executive who was far more important than anyone else in the room. Uncle Howard was the grumpy relative who told offensive jokes and expected everyone to laugh at his lack of filters.

Our mother played the role of the fragile matriarch who needed to be protected from any form of conflict or unpleasantness. I was always cast as the quiet and single sister who worked with software in a way that nobody cared to understand.

If I spoke up during a conversation, I was told that I was being too intense or that I was making things awkward for the guests. If I remained silent, they joked that I was probably thinking about spreadsheets instead of enjoying the company of my family.