Relatives all nodded in agreement, except for my aunt, who always had a disdainful look on her face.
At that time, I didn't understand the hidden meaning of my parents' words. I just thought that I wasn't doing well enough, so I studied even harder.
It wasn't until when I went to the high school that I found out my parents were biased. They spent a lot of money and went to great lengths to send my brother, who was doing poorly in his studies, to the best high school in the area and enrolled him in various special classes. On the other hand, even though I could have attended the best high school in the county based on my grades, my dad insisted on sending me to another high school in a rural town. It was only because that rural high school promised to waive my tuition for three years, and also provide me with an additional 200 dollars in monthly living expenses based on my good grades.
Mom and Dad told me that it was because I was smart and a good student, and that I could get into a good college anywhere. But if they didn't send my brother to a good school or enroll him in special classes, he wouldn't be able to get into college. And since I had grown up, I should reduce the burden on the family. Other girls from other families had already graduated from junior high and gone south to work. I should be grateful that they were willing to send me to high school.
At that time, I felt uncomfortable but I also felt that what they said made sense. I should depend on myself to study and I should help to reduce the burden on my family.
Later, when I could go to a prestigious university outside the province, my dad secretly took the offer of a local university for me, claiming that he didn't want me, a girl, to be too far away from home and that the family would worry.
In college, my brother received monthly living expenses of 5000 dollars, while I only had 800 dollars. They said, "Your brother is a boy. He eats more and spends more. As a girl, why do you need so much money? If you really don't have enough, find a rich boyfriend."
I finally realized that my brother and I were different in my parents' eyes, so I consciously distanced myself from my family. Even though the university was very close to home, I hardly ever went back home in four years and chose to work part-time instead. And they stopped giving me living expenses after that argument I had with them.