I had graduated at the top of my program. I had offers from firms in San Francisco, Seattle, Boston. I had parents who loved me fiercely, sometimes inconveniently, always correctly. When Jake came along—smart, attentive, modest, so unlike the peacocking men I’d spent college dodging—he felt like a refuge I hadn’t known I was looking for.
My parents distrusted him almost immediately.
My mother said he watched too carefully, as if he were memorizing weak points. My father said that men who called three times in an evening were not romantic; they were territorial. I accused them of being unfair. Snobbish. Judgmental. I said all the things daughters say when they’re young enough to mistake opposition for proof they’ve chosen boldly.
I married him anyway.
Moved to Ohio anyway.
Signed papers I barely read because I trusted him anyway.
In the beginning, it had all been subtle.
Susan smiling as she corrected the way I folded towels.
Robert asking if my salary was “really necessary” now that I was married.
Jake suggesting it would be easier if his mother handled “household finances” for a while because I was stressed and adjusting to a new city.
The first time he asked for my banking passwords, he kissed my forehead afterward.
The first time Susan took my passport “for safekeeping,” she did it while making me tea.
The first time Jake read my texts over my shoulder and asked who I was talking to, he said he just worried because I was new in town and lonely.
By the time I noticed the net tightening, I was already inside it.
I still had my job—remote consulting for a West Coast firm that paid far more than anyone in that house liked to admit—but my paychecks flowed into accounts Jake and his parents monitored. I still had a phone, but it was always somewhere communal, somewhere visible. I still had a car, technically, but the keys migrated mysteriously and then vanished. If I wanted to go anywhere, Jake drove. If I wanted to call anyone, Susan happened to walk through the room. If I cried, Jake told me I was exhausted. If I protested, he said I was being dramatic.
Then came the miscarriage.
I had been ten weeks along and terrified and hopeful in equal measure. Jake had seemed pleased, almost possessive in his excitement, telling everyone his son was on the way as though biology had already signed a contract. Susan bought blue yarn to knit a blanket before we even knew the sex.