Cassidy heard their voices but she could not look away from the cruel message on her screen. The sentence about seeing what success looks like found a bruised place in her heart and pressed down hard.
She sat down on the old sofa and felt the springs creak beneath her weight. There was a time when Justin could hurt her with a simple look or a long silence during dinner.
She thought the divorce would create a wall between them that his poison could not cross. She believed that separate bank accounts and legal papers would finally grant her some peace.
She had been wrong because some men do not need to live in the house to keep making the air feel heavy. The boys were supposed to see their father every other weekend, but Justin was very flexible with his definition of fatherhood.
He often canceled at the last minute because of a business dinner or a fake emergency at the office. He loved the image of being a father but he hated the daily work of fevers and school forms.
Mason noticed her expression first and abandoned his red toy car to run over to the sofa. “Mommy, are you making the sad face again?” he asked while tilting his head.
Cassidy tried to smile but the effort felt like it was breaking her skin. “I am just thinking about a wedding we might go to this weekend,” she said softly.
Toby looked up from his neat rows of blocks and stood by her knee. “Is Daddy going to be there?” he asked with a serious tone.
“Yes, he wants us to come see him,” Cassidy replied while stroking Toby hair. “Does he want us there because he loves us or because he wants people to clap for him?” Toby asked.
The bluntness of the question made Cassidy want to cry more than any insult Justin had ever sent her. She had worked so hard to hide his selfishness from them by making excuses for his frequent absences.
She told them he was busy or stressed because she believed children should discover a parent flaws slowly. But children are not easily fooled when the truth is standing right in front of them every day.
“Daddy just likes to have a big audience,” Cassidy admitted because she could no longer lie to them. Mason touched her cheek and whispered that she had water in her eye.
Suddenly her phone began to ring with a number she did not recognize. She almost declined the call because unknown numbers usually meant debt collectors or hospital bills.