There’s plenty of psychological research that says chronic criticism wears us down, but you don’t need a study to tell you that. Your body will tell you when the situation gets too much, you feel it in your shoulders. Today, your mental well-being is no less important than your blood pressure. If being around certain people always feels like you’re on trial to get their stamp of approval, then it’s probably high time you stopped inviting them around.
The People Who Drain You of All Energy
And then, there are what we may refer to as “energy vampires.” I’m sure all of us have one in our circles of friends. We see their name flashing on our cell phones, and we find ourselves exhaling a deep breath just thinking about engaging in conversation with them because all they wish to talk about is their problems, pains, and grudges against life.
Of course, we all like to support our loved ones in times of need. But the problem here is distinguishing between someone having a difficult phase in life and someone whose entire personality revolves around misery. Once you’ve spent two hours listening to someone complain, you can never really make up for that lost time.
The older we become, we find ourselves noticing that the time it takes to be energized again is longer than it used to be before. When we know that we have a limited number of good hours during the day, would you sacrifice three hours of it for a person who hasn’t even bothered to check up on how you’re doing? It’s alright not to take part in everything. It’s alright not to affect your mood by others.
The “One-Way Street” Relationships
This is a harsh truth to come to terms with. You fin
d yourself looking back on a relationship and thinking, “if I stopped being the person making plans, taking care of transportation, and reaching out, this relationship would simply fizzle out.”
Our reluctance to abandon such relationships has much to do with the history behind it. “But we have been best friends since the 70s.” However, the past should not dictate our current choices. If you find yourself having invested a lot more into your relationship than your friend, you must question the reasons behind it.
Healthy friendships don’t need to be perfectly balanced every day, but eventually there must be a give-and-take aspect to it.