This time, I did not retreat to my room. I did not curl up with his photograph and cry in the dark the way I had done every night for months. I walked through the main hall, past the portraits of three generations of Moretti men, past the soldier who held the study door open for me, and I knelt on the floor in front of Don Hale.
The old man looked down at me. The amber rosary bead between his thumb and forefinger went still.
"Grandfather. I've made my decision."
"I'm letting go of Julian Moretti. I'm leaving the Family."
Ever since Julian Moretti had "died," I had been the one suffering most. Even though Don Hale was drowning in grief of his own, the first thing he thought to do was come to me. He told me I was still young, that life stretched out ahead of me, that I shouldn't remain trapped in this marriage. He wanted me to leave the Moretti compound and start over, find someone who truly cared for me.
I knew he meant well. But back then, I refused without a second thought. I couldn't bear to let go of Julian. Couldn't bear to leave this house still heavy with his presence. I had already resolved to keep faith with his memory for the rest of my life.
Now I understood that from the very beginning, his closeness had been a lie. Five years of what looked like quiet devotion without a shred of real feeling. All of it a carefully constructed fraud.
I had no reason to stay any longer.
Don Hale knew nothing of the truth. When I finally agreed, relief softened his face. He helped me to my feet quickly, tears glistening in his eyes.
"Adrian, you've finally come around. You're a good girl. I've always cared for you, you know that. He's gone, but the living still have to go on."
He paused, then let out a long breath. The amber rosary bead between his thumb and forefinger had gone still. "I'll transfer half the Moretti Family's front-business holdings to your name. Enough that you'll never want for anything. Go, child. Leave this place and don't come back. Forget Julian. Live your life."
My eyes burned. I held on for a long time before the tears didn't fall.
My parents had never loved me. In their eyes there was only Adrian Winslow. My promised husband hadn't loved me either; his heart belonged to her alone. Even Julian, the one I believed cared for me most, had kept her at the center of everything.
My whole life, Don Hale was the only person who had ever been genuinely good to me.