I thought the world stopped for a second. When it finally registered in my head, I wondered, what's the point of being alive?

I looked into my brother's eyes, and the answer wasn't there.

Maybe he realized I expected him to be a brother to me, so he said, "Look, Ginny's my sister. You? You just bring me shame, so don't tell anyone I'm your brother when we're out."

Then Ginny strutted past, her dirty shoes dragging over my white dress, leaving filthy smudges behind. I lay there, helpless, listening to the sound of their laughter fading down the hall.

I didn't know what I was feeling. Maybe everything. Maybe hell. But maybe trapped was the most accurate term. I was trapped between the desperate need for my family to care and that nightmare I constantly willed myself to wake up from.

It felt like no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I begged for them to see me, that—that hell—was all I'd ever be. And god, I was so scared it would follow me. Forever.

I actually believed I'd escaped it, though. Growing up, I thought once I got taller and slimmer, I'd stop being the disgusting overweight kid.

But the truth is, shame stuck to me. Childhood ghosts just don't vanish—they cling tighter than my bangs, tighter than those awful thick glasses I wore like a mask.

Even when I wasn't fat anymore, I still felt it. My insecurities were thick and heavy, like a layer of fat—except no one else could see it. I was still the little girl craving affection, still envious of Ginny's effortless charm.

I remember, one day, I got home, and the moment I stepped through the doorway, guess what? Dad threw a cup at me. He literally just hurled it straight at my face, and it hit me hard, right on the forehead. I didn't even have time to react before I felt blood dripping down. God, he was furious!

"What the hell were you thinking?! Why did you put a dead mouse in Ginny's lunch?" he roared.

And Ginny? Of course, that girl curled up next to Dad like a snake. Of course, she robbed me of the chance to be heard. She just casually laughed and nudged him playfully.

"Dad, if she's gonna do this to me, I think I should get to bully her back."

That angel in disguise! I knew what she was doing!