Lara, once again, stood me up.
"Sir, we will be closing at 10 p.m. Would you like to order?"
I nodded.
Sitting alone, listening to the heavy rain outside the window, and eating fresh grilled salmon.
I actually thought that the feeling of being alone was surprisingly good.
When paying the bill, I saw Austin's Instagram.
"Being sick is so uncomfortable, but luckily I have you!"
The picture attached was a pair of hands clasped beside a hospital bed.
I recognized at a glance that one of them was Lara's hand.
Her hands were very fair, and she applied a liquid hand mask every night. She found it troublesome, so I helped her apply it and then washed it off carefully.
The moment I saw the picture, I felt nothing at all.
I wasn't angry, and I didn't feel like questioning her.
Instead, I felt a sense of accomplishment that I had always expected would be like this.
See? I was right again.
Every time Lara stood me up, it was because of Austin.
But when she stood him up, it was never because of me.
To be more precise, she had never stood him up!
I was glad that this time I was not sad or aggrieved at all.
After returning home, I washed up and went straight to bed.
In the middle of the night, I heard something.
I was a light sleeper. Since I started dating Lara, I always took care of her when she was asleep, as she always liked to drool and roll up the quilt.
It had been a long time since I had a complete sleep.
In the dark night, I could clearly feel someone staring at me.
It was Lara.
Being awakened in the middle of the night and being stared at, I felt extremely annoyed.
But after a long day, I really didn't want to deal with her head-on, so I continued to pretend to sleep.
What's wrong with Lara?
It's so late. She went back late at night, and instead of going to sleep, she kept staring at me?
I didn't wait for her on the couch this time, didn't question her in a disappointed tone, and didn't humbly beg her to focus on me.
She was disappointed because of that?
Shouldn't she be happy? After all, this was what she expected, right?
Before, I would have a big fight with her hysterically and ask her if she could love me a little more with red eyes.
I didn't want for much. I just wanted her to care about me just a little bit.
But she had always been standing aside with indifference, looking at me with disdain and mockery as if I were a clown.