As I was sitting in the car, my hands were trembling badly. I quickly rummaged through my bag and swallowed a fluoxetine pill.
I had been secretly in love with Crowley for four years. The day I married him, I was diagnosed with mild depression.
I traded this marriage with the lives of my entire family.
Years ago, a severe traffic accident happened in the city. Crowley was seriously injured and rushed to the hospital.
As a surgeon, the department chief had initially assigned me to save the patient in the next room.
But I was so worried about Crowley that I volunteered to perform surgery on him instead.
The operation was a great success, and Crowley survived.
However, the patient in the next room lost their life because of the delay in treatment.
The patient in that room was my father.
My mother was devastated. She stormed into the Baldwin Villa, demanding compensation from the Baldwin family.
In the end, under pressure from the elders, Crowley reluctantly married me as compensation.
My mother passed away the night before my wedding, her gaze fixed on me in her final moments.
"Don't forget, this marriage was bought with your father's and my lives..."
My mother harbored both hatred and love for me. Even in her last breath, she was thinking of giving me a good future.
Everyone envied me for marrying into a wealthy family.
The Baldwin family's servants gossiped behind my back, saying I'd stop at nothing to marry into money.
I knew that no matter what choice I made that day, it would've been wrong.
I couldn't just stand by and watch Crowley die in front of me, but I also couldn't accept my parents sacrificing their lives for my sake.
If I could, I'd gladly trade my own life to bring them back.
I was consumed by guilt and self-blame.
I hated myself.
I couldn't take the pressure of using the scalpel again and could only stay by Crowley's side, being his wife.
We never had a wedding ceremony.
On the day we got married, Crowley spent the entire night smoking in front of Megan's photograph.
The way he looked at me was filled with contempt and loathing.
"Don't forget, this marriage was bought with lives. You've caused Megan to fall into depression and leave the country. I'll make sure you never have a happy day!"
I thought he was just angry in the heat of the moment.
I believed that if I treated him well enough, he would eventually accept me.
So, I made Crowley my everything.