"Don't bother."
The tension drained from Jesse's body all at once.
I stood and walked toward the small rest room attached to his office.
"You should stay too. Keep everyone company. It's a critical phase. They need their leader here."
Jesse lit up, agreeing over and over, practically tripping over his own words.
I lay down on the bed in the rest room. Through the door, I could just make out the secretary's lowered voice.
"Mr. Gilbert, I think your wife has calmed down."
Calmed down?
I closed my eyes.
No. I just didn't care anymore.
I lay on that bed all night without sleeping.
Jesse probably assumed I wouldn't remember.
But Edith Walker's signature lipstick shade, the one she always wore back then, was the exact crimson smeared across his collar yesterday.
Early the next morning, before the sun was up, Jesse came back.
Dark circles bruised the skin beneath his eyes. He still smelled faintly of cigarettes. But in his hand was a bag from my favorite breakfast place.
"Lucretia, I have an investor roadshow this morning. Eat while it's hot."
He opened the container carefully, picked up a dumpling, blew on it again and again, and held it to my lips.
I opened my mouth. Chewed mechanically. Swallowed.
When he saw me eat, a tired but satisfied smile spread across his face.
"Wait for me."
He leaned in to kiss me. I turned my head without thinking.
His lips froze in midair. The light in his eyes went out.
In the end, he only stroked my hair, then turned and walked out.
I went to the hospital.
Dad looked much better. He was doing his rehab exercises with the help of an aide.
His face brightened when he saw me. He grabbed my hand and asked why Jesse hadn't come along.
I peeled an apple for him, the blade whispering against the skin in long, curling strips.
"Dad, I want to divorce Jesse."
The therapy ball slipped from his fingers and bounced across the floor.
He stared at me, his clouded eyes wide with shock.
"What happened? Has Jesse been treating you badly?"
I shook my head. For a moment, the words wouldn't come.
Everyone said Jesse loved me to the bone. That he'd burned through his fortune and moved heaven and earth to save me.
For five years, he'd coddled me until I was practically helpless.
But only I knew how tight the wire inside me had been pulled, every single day.
I was always wondering whether the things Jesse said were real or just another performance.
I was done living like that.