I could see it clearly now, the moment that had broken me completely. The final days at the hospital were vivid in my mind. Keenan, lying on the hospital bed, his little body wracked with pain, pale and fragile, yet trying so hard to be brave. The only thing that brought a faint smile to his lips during those agonizing days was watching videos of pandas. The way those black and white fur balls moved—so playful, so carefree—offered him a brief escape from the torment his body was going through.
He’d made just one wish, so simple yet so precious—to see the pandas in person. It was the last thing he asked for.
"And even then, when he needed you most," I said, my voice cracking, "you gave him hope, only to shatter it. You promised him that we’d go to the zoo and he waited all day for you, holding onto that promise until he had nothing left."
I turned away, the tears threatening to spill over, but I wouldn't let them. Not here, not now. Not in front of them.
"Keenan died believing in you," I whispered, my words barely audible. "And you weren't there."
Keenan was only five, his body so fragile that he'd been on medication for as long as I could remember. He spent more time in hospitals than playgrounds, his childhood stolen by illness. And yet, Gilbert—his own father—barely acknowledged his condition. He wasn’t just indifferent; he genuinely believed our son was pretending to be sick, just like the outsiders whispered. To him, I was the villain, manipulating the situation to get his attention. In his eyes, I was always scheming.
Gilbert was the golden child—handsome, from a prominent family, a star student. His charm captivated everyone and it seemed there wasn't a soul who didn't like him. Including me. I fell for him hard, silently carrying a torch for three years in high school. Then in college, I gathered the courage to pursue him, confessing my feelings not once, not twice, but 105 times. And 105 times, he rejected me.
But I didn’t give up. Every day, I thought about how to win him over. I convinced myself that if I just kept trying, I'd eventually break through his cold exterior. That persistence led me to a moment of weakness, a single accident and then—Keenan.