Georgette's lips were twitching with a smile she could barely suppress, but she put on a show of waving them off.
"Oh, now, don't say that, don't say that. She's pregnant right now, so if anything were to happen..."
"So what if she's pregnant? Which one of us hasn't been pregnant before? She's the only one acting like a princess about it!"
"Right? Does she think carrying one baby makes her royalty?"
As they said this, they ground my figurines under their heels, deliberately crushing them.
Both of those were limited editions. Current market value: twelve thousand dollars.
And intentional destruction of property valued over six thousand met the threshold for criminal charges.
I didn't hesitate. I pulled out my phone to call the police.
But just as I was about to dial 911, Edgar came out of the balcony and pulled me over.
"Fern, come look at the bed I set up for Dad. I made it myself. What do you think?"
For a moment, I didn't register what he meant.
Then I saw it: a four-foot folding cot wedged between the potted plants,
covered with a sheet that looked like it had been dug out of some forgotten closet. It was wrinkled and stiff.
There were even stains on it. Unidentifiable ones.
And Edgar had pulled this out for my father to sleep on.
I was so speechless I didn't know where to begin.
Yet he stood there, beaming with pride.
"I picked the perfect spot, too. Dad can enjoy the night view out here, smell the flowers, and even—"
"If it's so great, your mother can have it."
My tone left zero room for discussion.
"That's settled. Tonight, my dad sleeps in your mother's room. Your mother sleeps out here."
I turned and headed for Georgette's room to move her luggage.
Edgar panicked. The words flew out before he could stop them.
"No way! My mom can't sleep in a place like a doghouse!"
The second those words left his mouth, my hand moved on its own. I slapped him across the face so hard my palm stung.
"A doghouse. So you know it's a doghouse. And you still put my father out here?"
Before he could react, I hurled the divorce papers at him.
"I want a divorce."
"You are going to pack your things right now."
"Take your mother and this whole circus of freaks, and get out of my house!"
