Once, he had been willing to argue with them on my behalf, even to the point of furious outbursts. He had stood in front of me like a wall between me and them, his voice shaking the windows of the Corsetti parlor.
What on earth had driven him to oppose me and start defending Elara?
I let the pain overwhelm me and told Ansel, word by word.
"Unless she dies before my eyes, I will never forgive her!"
Ansel's forehead was throbbing and he was visibly about to lose his temper. The muscle in his jaw flexed. His hand dropped to his side, fingers curling once, twice. The hallway seemed to narrow around us.
This was the same look he had when he used to rage at Elara and her mother on my behalf.
"Serafina! How did you become so bitter after just two years in Palermo? If you can't find it in yourself to forgive her, then at least apologize to Elara! I can't stand the thought of people in every family from here to the old country mocking my blood-promised as a spiteful, resentful woman!"
"Your mother's decision to end her life was her own weakness. If she had considered your youth, your father wouldn't have had to remarry! Don't blame all your misfortune on Elara and her mother. Vittoria made mistakes, but she didn't deserve to die! If you, like your mother, are going to stubbornly wallow in your misery, then it's no wonder you're plagued by nightmares!"
He practically spat out the word nightmares through gritted teeth.
The revulsion that flashed across his face was clear to me.
So, the person who swore to protect me for life was now clearly fed up with being haunted by my nightmares. The man who controlled half the waterfront, who had soldiers kiss his ring and call him Boss, could not stomach the sound of me screaming in my sleep.
In the end, all my misfortune and pain had become the sword he used to wound me, leaving me scarred and broken once more.
Once, the man who would feel heartache and tear up at the mention of my nightmares no longer held me close and promised.
"Serafina, as long as I'm here, no nightmare or monster can hurt you!"
He had once used his love and care to pull me out of the abyss, but now he was the one who had shoved me back in.
For Elara's sake, he said I deserved it!