The complaints poured out of her in a torrent: everything that happened at the territory gate with Fenris, every snide remark from every fair-weather visitor who'd turned tail and left.
I clutched the edge of my sleeve, unable to meet my father's eyes.
Not until I heard him ask, "Why don't you want to be mated to him?"
His tone was gentle. He didn't seem angry.
Only then did I dare speak. "I don't have feelings for him anymore."
It was the most straightforward reason I could think of.
I could hardly tell my father that I had been mated to Fenris Vargr twice before.
That the first time, I fell from a cliff and died. That the second time, I lost my head on the executioner's block.
And that I had dragged the entire Blackthorn pack down with me, every last one put to the sword.
He wouldn't believe me even if I told him. Better to say nothing.
My father studied me, brow furrowed. "Seraphina, you have never been reckless."
"There must be another reason."
"Since you won't say, I won't press."
"But let me remind you of one thing. Fenris has been by your side since childhood. He has always adored you. A bond like that is rare. Don't do something you'll regret."
A rare bond?
I used to believe that too. That Fenris Vargr was everything I could hope for.
We were scent-promised to each other before we were born. We grew up side by side. Our wolves had brushed against each other's awareness since before we could shift.
From the first stirrings of young love, I dreamed of growing old with him. I held that dream for ten years.
Every moon-sealed letter he sent from the front, I smoothed flat beneath a paperweight and tucked carefully into a box, layer upon layer.
During the worst of the fighting, when word came that he was dead, I carved both our names into a plaque of moonpale wood. Even if he was gone, I would bond myself to his memory and never take another mate.
That was how much I loved him.
And Fenris?
To pave the way for Ravenna's entry into the Moonhold Citadel as Luna Designate, he surrendered his command and laid down his war markings.
He told me, "Seraphina, you've always been so understanding. I know you'll support my decision."
He asked me to give up my bloodline standing and follow him to the outer territories to live in poverty.
When I was carrying his pup, he turned around and marched back to the capital, all to prop up Ravenna's position.
I tried to stop him.
He said I had changed.